Missing Pieces
by LuckyDuck29
Summary: This is my attempt to fill in some of the gaps I feel there are in the show; how do certain characters get from Point A to point B? Please see my profile for the link to the ld29info forum for the author’s notes.
1. Keeping Company: Spinelli and Leyla

The door closed behind him and he ran with those cutting words still screaming in his head.

"Freaky Boy. Freaky Boy. Freaky Boy."

His feelings about the phrase and the man who had thrown it at him were mixed. Part of him wanted to scream at The Godfather that he was not a freak. Another part believed him, the part that knew how socially awkward he was. Another wished he could have punched out the man and made his own threat. "Leave me alone or I'll have you arrested for harassment." After all, Spinelli had been in the office, which was no longer Sonny's, but Jason's.

Sonny had thrown him out like a playground bully deciding that he wanted to use the swing he was using and pushing him off, which made another part of him feel like that child who always got pushed around by the other kids. It brought back memories of his childhood in Oakfield and he was glad that his Granny couldn't see her adult grandson still being pushed off the swings by the bigger kids. Another part just wanted to talk to someone; he needed a friend.

His friends were preoccupied; Maxie with work, Lulu with The Dark Prince and Stone Cold with the man who had just thrown him out of the office and humiliated him in front of his mentor. Spinelli knew Jason would defend him privately to Sonny and he appreciated the fact that he would defend him at all, but he still felt like a total wimp for not defending himself. But what could he do? He couldn't fight Sonny Corinthos; he would end up dead or in the hospital, if not in prison.

He finally stopped running when he reached the peer and tried to catch his breath. He felt so alone. He wished he could talk to Georgie, the only person in the world who really understood him, the only person in the world who thought he was special.

But Georgie was gone, taken by someone who really was a freak. Diego Alcazar had been an insane, vengeance-crazed murderer and Spinelli was Freaky Boy?

Georgie had loved him and he'd been too blind to see it. He could never fix it; he could never let her know now that he would gladly have accepted the honor of her choosing him if he'd known.

The other girls didn't want him; he was doomed to be a brotherly friend to all the women who paid attention to him. Georgie had seen something in Spinelli that he didn't see in himself. Why couldn't he be normal? Why couldn't he be worthy of a woman's love?

"Are you OK?" someone asked gently.

He looked up at Nurse Leyla Mir and shook his head.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

He thought about how to tell her what was wrong. He didn't want to start babbling; he knew it annoyed people when they couldn't understand him.

"I could use a friend," he said quietly.

"You've found one," she said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

He smiled gratefully.

"Tell me what's wrong."

"The Jackal is, yet again, in love with someone who will never love him back. On top of that, I have been beaten up once and humiliated in front of one of my best friends once, both within a couple of weeks, by a man who hates me and considers me a freak and has the power to literally terminate my very existence."

"Why did he beat you up and how did he humiliate you?"

Spinelli chose his words carefully. He couldn't let her know it was Sonny; he couldn't risk exposing potentially deadly secrets. Sonny wasn't part of the mob anymore, but if he found out Spinelli was talking about him, The Former Godfather would kill him.

"He slammed my head into a post because I told him something he didn't wanna hear, especially from me. I suppose I deserved it; I'm not one of his friends, but I wanted to help somehow. Unfortunately, as is usually the case outside Cyberspace, I only managed to cause myself bodily harm and emotional humiliation; to add insult to injury, it happened in front of the girl I love. She was great; she took me to her house and monitored me that night to make sure I didn't have a concussion. Unfortunately, I didn't remember anything that happened the next day between the time he beat me up and the time I woke up in her bed with her. I thought we had- been together. That is The Jackal's greatest desire, but she only sees him as a friend. But her father walked in and thought the same thing and he threw me out of their house."

Leyla winced in sympathy.

"Ouch! Didn't she explain?"

"She told me to go and then explained after I left; she didn't want her father to have me arrested. But then she was angry with me later because I did a favor for someone and it hurt someone she cares about. The Jackal meant no disrespect towards this person; he was only repaying a debt."

Leyla thought she knew what he was talking about, but didn't press him for confirmation or more information. She respected his privacy and was beginning to suspect who the man was, as well as the girl he loved. If Sonny Corinthos was the man who hated Spinelli, then Mr. Jackal had every reason to be cautious about the way he revealed what he was telling her, even in a venting session.

"Did she eventually forgive you?"

"Yeah, she had me make up for it by fixing something for her at work, a computer situation. The problem was that we walked in on something we shouldn't have, something private, and if I tell you what it was-"

"It's OK; you know what it was. What happened?"

"The man we spoke of before, the one who slammed ,my head into the post, threatened to kill me."

"You, but not the girl you love."

"I'm the one he hates; I don't think he cares one way or another for her. I tried again to apologize for what we walked in on when I saw him earlier today. That's when he let me know in no uncertain terms that I am a freak and he does not want to see The Jackal anywhere near him or his girlfriend again."

"Just because you walked in on something? If it's what I think it was, he shouldn't have been doing that where he was doing it in the first place!"

Leyla felt hypocritical for saying that, but she had learned her lesson. No more supply closet or exam room sex for her.

"I should have knocked first. He told me to show more discretion or The Jackal would be extinct."

"He's doing that in someone's work place and you're the one who needs to show more discretion?"

"The Jackal is very awkward socially, as I'm sure you well know."

He looked away from her again and she could see his face reddening.

"That doesn't give him the right to bully you, and as for what you said before about deserving to have your head slammed against the post for voicing your opinion, that's not true either. No one has the right to hurt you, physically or otherwise, just for having your own mind and your own thoughts. You're a kind, intelligent man who has a lot to offer if someone has the brains to listen to you. I hope the girl you love stood up for you; no real friend would allow someone to call you a freak just for walking in on something you shouldn't have, especially when you were trying to apologize."

"She wasn't there. This was after I'd been banned from her work place for-"

He broke off again. This was going to be embarrassing. He took a breath and looked back at Leyla.

"Someone else gave me advice on how to win My friend's heart and it went badly. I told this other person of my friend's reaction to what we unintentionally saw; she was intrigued by it. She said she could go for a man like that, dark and dangerous."

Leyla felt a pang of sympathy. Spinelli couldn't be dark and dangerous if he tried; he was too sweet. If the girl he wanted was into that kind of man, then poor Mr. Jackal didn't stand a chance with her.

"This other woman told me to emulate what we had walked in on, so I tried and her employer walked in on us."

"Oh no!"

He nodded.

"My friend thought I was saving her job; she misinterpreted my actions. She was looking at something she wasn't supposed to and I distracted her; she thought I was doing it so her employer wouldn't see. Her employer banned me from the office, and then the man who considers me a freak forbad me to go anywhere near him or the employer of my friend. He's her boss's boyfriend."

Leyla nodded. It was as she'd thought; Maxie was the girl he was in love with and the man and the employer were Sonny Corinthos and Kate Howard. Sonny was a loose cannon under the best of circumstances and even worse now that his son was in a permanent coma. Spinelli had unintentionally gotten himself into a real mess.

He looked away again, but not before Leyla saw the shame in his eyes.

"What is it? Why do you look as if you've done something wrong?"

He looked back at her and confessed his darkest feelings about Mr. Corinthos, Sir. He felt ashamed of these thoughts because he was not a violent person by nature.

"Part of me wanted to punch him for calling me a freak; after all, he beat me up first, but I'm not a violent person. The Jackal is a lover, not a fighter. I caused all this in the first place, first by giving him unwanted advice and second by walking in on what I did."

"You didn't deserve what he did to you. I believe you have every right to want to punch him for calling you a freak, and you had every right to try to defend yourself when he slammed you into that post. You're not less of a man because he beat you up; he's less of a man for humiliating you and acting like a child. Someone like that needs a good kick once in a while."

"I can't fight back; he's too strong, and powerful."

"He's not above the law."

Spinelli said nothing. Sonny may not be a mobster anymore, but Spinelli didn't believe the law could protect him if Mr. Sir lost his temper.

"Whoever this person is, he obviously doesn't know you. I do know you from the hospital and you're very sweet and charming. You'd never intentionally hurt anyone, would you?"

He shook his head, but looked at her sadly.

"But I did hurt someone for months without even knowing. Did you know Georgie Jones?"

"I did; she was a sweet person. Her death was tragic."

"She was my dearest friend. I found her lifeless body, and then a few days later I found out that she'd been in love with me."

"I'm so sorry. But again, you didn't hurt her intentionally. From what I knew of her, I don't believe she'd want you to beat yourself up over what you didn't see. She would have been grateful for your friendship."

"Thank you," he said gratefully. "I was wishing I could talk to her when you found me. It's almost as if she sent you to comfort me since she couldn't."

"Maybe she did. She really knew you, really understood you, didn't she?"

He nodded.

"How well does this other person know you, the one who thinks he has the right to beat you up and call you names?"

"He thinks he does. I suppose he does; I mean, he's seen me enough."

"Is he friends with any of your friends?"

"Yeah, but he has his own opinions."

"Well, obviously his opinion of you is dead wrong."

He smiled, feeling better.

She thought back to the previous October, to something Epiphany had said to Spinelli the day after Jolene had been shot. He had visited her frequently after that, hoping she would wake up and tell him why she'd saved him after hurting all those innocent people. Epiphany had told him it was because Jolene had nothing else to lose and had basically taken the coward's way out. She knew she'd been caught. Spinelli was feeling lonely now; he was feeling unworthy of being loved, the most basic human need. Maybe Leyla could make him see that he was worthy, no matter what immature idiots like Sonny Corinthos wanted him to think.

"Can I tell you something?"

"Of course."

"For what it's worth, I don't believe what Epiphany told you last October. I think Jolene saved you because she really did care about you."

"Thank you," he said, surprised and gratified.

"Don't pay any attention to people who don't really know you but think they do, Mr. Jackal. Only those who really know you know your heart."

She put her hand on his shoulder again and he wanted to hug her. That sounded exactly like something he would tell one of his friends.

"Feeling better?"

He nodded.

"Thank you, Fair One. If there's anything I can ever do for you, don't hesitate to let me know."

He turned and started to walk off, heading in the direction of Kelly's.

"Actually, she called after him, "there is something you can do for me."

He turned back eagerly, happy to repay her kindness.

"I have to go to a wedding party tonight that my mother's hosting and I don't have a date."

He walked back to her, looking surprised.

"It seems inconceivable to The Jackal that one so kind and lovely would be unattached."

She smiled.

"Well, I was supposed to go with Dr. Julian, but he was called into emergency surgery. Would you do me the honor of accompanying me?"

"The Jackal would be honored, but I must warn you, my social skills are inadequate at best."

"I don't know; I saw you at the Black and White Ball, before everything turned tragic, and you did pretty well then."

He thought back to that night. He'd been absolutely terrified. He had even called Jason and begged him to go with him. Then Nadine had appeared, looking incredible, and all his fears evaporated. Leyla was beautiful; maybe if he concentrated on her alone it would be OK.

"From what Nadine told me," she continued, "you handled yourself well after everything went wrong, too. She said you were very brave. She said you saved her life."

He blushed.

"I couldn't let the Demented Dennison of Darkness harm Fair Nadine."

"I promise, you won't embarrass yourself, or me. I'll help you."

"OK, then, it's a date."

"Good," she said sincerely, smiling as she gave him the information on where the party was being held.

They agreed to meet there and separated to go get ready. As he left the peer, he realized she was right. Sonny didn't know the first thing about him; he only knew what he wanted to see. There was much more to Spinelli than the awkward computer hacker. He was a good friend and a good person. He still had his doubts about everything, including the party he'd just agreed to attend, but he would not let his fear stop him. Leyla had been kind to him. He would return her kindness by standing in as her escort. He would make her proud.


	2. Mr Kate Howard: Sonny and Kate

"I'm not gonna spend the rest of my life being Mr. Kate Howard!" Sonny said angrily.

Kate suppressed a frustrated sigh. Why didn't he understand this? Why did he think teasing the press actually meant something to him? It wasn't going to change anything between them; she was still in love with him and they were still engaged. All she wanted to do was make people think she and Jax were having an affair; they weren't actually going to do anything. Kate was in love with Sonny and Jax, for reasons Kate would never understand, was in love with Carly. Besides, what would be so horrible about being thought of as Mr. Kate Howard?

"Sonny, this is fashion, not the coffee business. People in my position have to keep up certain appearances in order to get the results they want. It's just business. You know how that is."

Sonny suddenly wondered how many times he'd told her that when he'd done something while he was running the organization and she'd been surprised at his behavior, or had disapproved of something he'd said or done.

"So in your business, it's perfectly acceptable for someone in your position to be engaged to one guy and sleep with your business partner?"

"Of course not," Kate said in a placatory tone. "I'm not actually gonna sleep with Jax, Sonny. I would never cheat on you. I'm just gonna make people think I'm sleeping with him."

Kate couldn't understand why this was upsetting him so much. If she wasn't actually cheating, but only making people think she was, what was the big deal?

"It doesn't matter, Kate! It's still wrong; it makes me look like a chump, and it's disrespectful of both me and Jax! He's married."

Now Kate understood. Carly was the issue here, not Sonny or Jax. Carly's feelings had to be protected at all costs. She had forced Sonny to give up his boys, but Sonny was still defending Carly's honor.

"Oh, here we go."

"What?"

"Carly doesn't want Jax to go along with it, so you're gonna defend her."

"I don't care about Carly; I care about you."

"Then you understand why I need to do this."

"No, I don't! I don't want people thinking you slept your way to the top; that's why I went off on that guy at the New Year's Eve party. I don't want you thought of that way and I don't want people thinking of me as the idiot husband whose wife is cheating right under his nose! Look, it doesn't matter, anyway, because Jax already said he's not gonna go along with it."

"He only said that to placate Carly."

Sonny had a sudden suspicion and it made him angry. He hoped he was wrong; he didn't want to believe she would be that deceitful, as either Kate or Connie. Connie would never betray him, but Kate might under the right circumstances; this conversation and the fact that they even needed to have it was proof of that.

"So what are you gonna do? Are you gonna placate me by telling me you won't pretend to sleep with Jax for the press and then do it anyway?"

"No!"

She couldn't believe he would think that of her. How could he think she would ever lie to him? Didn't he know her by now? She was hurt that the thought would even cross his mind.

"So Jax is gonna placate Carly and you're gonna still lie and say you're sleeping together."

"Jax will see, eventually, that it's what's best for the business and in the end he'll agree to it."

"And it doesn't matter to you what either Carly or I think. Like I said, I don't care about Carly, but you could at least consider my feelings."

Kate became defensive.

"Like you considered my feelings in your former business?"

"I'm out of it now!"

"How long did it take you, Sonny? I turned you down because of your business the first time you asked me to marry you and it took months for you to turn your back on that life."

Kate stopped herself from mentioning Michael's shooting. She wouldn't be that cruel in order to win an argument, not to Sonny.

Sonny sighed with impatience and frustration.

"OK, you know what? You're gonna do what you want and you don't care about what I think, so you just run your business and I'll stay out of it."

He stood up and headed for the door.

"Sonny, don't walk away from me!"

"Why not? You walked away from me three times. You ran away as Connie, you went back to Manhattan at Christmas and then you turned down my first proposal. You wanna disrespect me, fine. But I'm not gonna stay around and watch you pretend to be having an affair with Jax, with or without his cooperation! I can't stop you from disrespecting me, but I don't have to sit by and pretend it's OK either."

He stormed out of the office and toward the elevator.

Kate sighed with frustration. He just didn't get it. She hated the double standard. He could do whatever he felt he had to do in his business, but her business wasn't important enough that he could afford her the same consideration? It didn't matter that he was out of the mob now. When he was in, he did what he wanted in the name of business and expected her to stay out of it. Now she was doing something in the name of business and he was having a reaction. If she couldn't have a reaction to his business, what gave him the right to have a reaction to hers?

She would find a way to make him come around to her way of thinking. For now, in order to make him feel better, she would send him flowers. Everyone loved flowers and Sonny's place could use some cheering up. She would send him the flowers today, then make up with him tomorrow. She would give him the night to cool off, then tomorrow she would try again to make him see reason. Eventually, he would see that promoting the magazine long-term was more important than his and Carly's hurt feelings short-term. All was fair in love and war and the fashion business was one big war.


	3. Sacrifice and Determination: SpinMax

"Wait a minute," Maxie said, beginning to understand him. "Let me see if I have this straight. You think you're dangerous and you're trying to push me away for my own protection before you get me hurt or killed."

He nodded. She wanted to laugh. Spinelli, dangerous? Not by any stretch of the imagination! But he looked so serious and sad that the urge to laugh disappeared almost as soon as it had come.

"The Jackal is far too dangerous for Maximista to be in his presence."

"Spinelli, you are the least dangerous person I know."

"Maximista has put herself in harm's way more than once-"

"I'm not gonna sit by and do nothing when my friend needs help, Spinelli!"

"I know; that's the problem. I've put you at risk by telling you about The Russian Rogue."

"You needed to confide in someone."

"I had no business telling you-"

"It was my fault; you were working on a top secret project for Jason and I tried to take control of your computer. I'm sorry about that, but please don't push me away!"

"That's not what this is about, although, you should not have done that. I need to protect you."

"Look, just because Jason lives his life alone doesn't mean you have to; you don't have to be exactly like Jason!"

"Stone Cold lives a life of isolation because the people he loves are in danger because of his life choices; The Jackal can do no less than to make the same sacrifice."

"I won't allow it!"

"Maxie-"

"No! I've lost my sister and I've lost my boyfriend! I'm not gonna lose you, too!"

He stared at her. He wanted to cry. He was pushing her away for her own protection, but how could he stand against that argument and that look in her eyes. Even worse, how could he sever his last link to Wise Georgie.

"You're my best friend, Spinelli. You're my only friend. I'm not gonna let you shove me out of your life so you can impress Jason with your Stone Cold sacrifice! I'm not gonna let you become a clone of Jason Morgan; you're your own sweet, brilliant, wonderful, unique person, not a carbon copy of someone else!"

"I don't wanna lose you either, Maxie," he said quietly. "I would rather not see you anymore than have you standing next to me if-"

"Nothing is gonna happen to either of us."

"Devlin could have killed you; he would have had Stone Cold not shot him!"

"Again, my fault. I was the one who stole the keys to the Mob Mobile and hid in the trunk. I wasn't even trying to help you then; I was trying to save my own job."

"I should have let you think they were the keys to the cemetery as you jokingly surmised."

"That was a mean joke about your friend; you felt like you had to defend him. You've defended me to him, too, and we shouldn't put you in a position where you have to defend one of us to the other." She paused in thought. "I guess the same should go for me and Lulu; we shouldn't put you in the middle of our rivalry either."

He sighed. He was worried sick for The Blonde One and hated that there was nothing he could do to help her. Maxie put her hand on his shoulder. She wanted to comfort him, but she was also determined to get him away from this crazy idea that he was too dangerous to be her friend and start talking sense.

"I know you're really worried about her," she said gently. "So am I. We may hate each other, but she saved me from being raped when she killed Logan. How do we know he wouldn't have come back while I was unconscious? I owe her a lot."

The thought of what Logan could have done to both his Blonde Ones made Spinelli feel sick.

"The Knuckle Scraper is most undeserving of sympathy or mourning," he agreed.

He blinked. She'd managed to steer him away from the subject.

"You could be in much more danger if you remain in The Jackal's presence. Look at what happened to poor Young Michael just for being next to his father!"

"You're not a big bad mob leader and I'm not your daughter!"

"Samantha was shot in Stone Cold's arms; she took a bullet meant for him and now she can't have children!"

"I don't want children; I'm too focused on my career! Besides, I'm too vein for kids; I don't want stretch marks and I don't wanna get fat."

"But Samantha does and now she will forever be deprived of her greatest desire! That's my point; this business takes away things people involved in it want for themselves and the people they love. Stone Cold doesn't wanna be alone; he feels he has to be in order to protect the people he loves. He doesn't wanna lose them. What kind of person would I be if I continued to selfishly put you in danger?"

"I'm not scared!"

"I'm scared for you! I've lost Georgie, too, and I don't wanna lose you the same way!"

"I'm not going anywhere," she said gently.

She meant it two ways; nothing was going to happen to her and she wasn't going to allow him to sacrifice their friendship in favor of The Stone Cold Way. Spinelli knew the ways she meant it without her having to explain.

"I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you because of me," he said, his voice and eyes full of pain as he remembered finding Georgie on the park stairs.

Jason had told him he had not failed Georgie, but he couldn't help feeling that if he'd found the killer sooner and if he'd seen how his Faithful Friend felt about him she might still be alive.

"It won't," she said, hugging him tightly.

"You don't know that."

"Nobody knows anything for sure. For all we know my borrowed heart could give out in the next five minutes and I could be-"

"Don't even joke about that!" he pleaded, and she could see how badly that thought hurt him.

"I'm sorry, but you get my point. Nobody knows what could happen to us at any time. Look, Spinelli, if you're so afraid for me and the people you love, if this business takes so much from the people involved in it, then why don't you just get out? Why don't you just tell Jason you quit?"

"The Jackal is valued and accepted by his mentor. He fits in here. I need to be needed, Maximista, and no one has ever made me feel as if I really belonged before Stone Cold. He's pushed almost everyone away since he took control of the business in order to protect them; he has not done that with me because I work for him. He can protect me to an extent that he can't protect the people who don't work for him. He needs me, and not just for my Cyber skills. He needs me as his friend and if I leave he might push me away, too. I don't have many friends and I don't wanna lose another one. He needs my friendship, too. I owe him at least that much for what he's done for me."

"OK, I can understand that, but what you and Jason don't seem to get is that it doesn't matter whether or not you push everyone that you care about away. It's gonna come out somehow, some way, that someone matters to you and that person will be a target if someone really wants to get back at you or use that person as leverage. You can't pretend not to care, Spinelli, and you can't make yourself not care either. It's not gonna make a difference."

Her cell rang; it was Kate, wanting her to do an errand for her immediately.

"I have to go."

He nodded sadly.

"I will be back," she said, enunciating and emphasizing each word carefully, letting him know she would never give up his friendship. "I'm gonna come back and we're gonna stay friends and I don't wanna hear anymore of this sacrifice talk. We're friends and that's how it's gonna stay. See you later."

She kissed his cheek and closed the door behind her, leaving him to his research and his own dark thoughts.

He had to stick to his guns; he couldn't let her endanger herself because of him. She'd been taken by Diego when he was under the influence of the chloroform. She'd been held at knife point by the Dastardly Dr. Devlin because he'd told her the keys belonged to the Mob Mobile. Now she knew about Karpov.

She'd been right; he'd needed to confide his fears in someone, but it shouldn't have been her. He should have talked to Stone Cold; he was his boss, he was in the business and he was the one who would ultimately deal with The Russian Rogue. He would be furious that Spinelli had told Maxie, but what could he have done? She would have kept pressing until he told her what she wanted to know.

He had said far too much. He had to protect her from his own inadequacies. He felt a surge of frustration with himself, knowing that she would keep pressing him on this issue, too, and that she would eventually win, and probably not far in the future. Spinelli just wasn't strong enough to refuse her anything. Again, he'd lost count of how many times, he had failed to master The Stone Cold Way. Self-sacrifice was not something The Jackal could do, no matter how much he wanted to protect his Fair Maximista.

He sighed and tried to bury himself in Cyberspace, trying to block out his secret pain, the pain Maxie would never know because she didn't return his love. Because she only thought of him as a friend, she would never know how profound a sacrifice he was trying to make by attempting to distance himself from her in order to keep her safe. Ignorance was bliss, and in Maxie's case, it was necessary where The Jackal's job was concerned. He berated himself again for not remembering that and for telling her about Karpov.

As he clicked a result his program had found, he wished he'd never told her and that he'd put his research on the Russian Rogue on hold and did as she asked and started looking for dirt on Matt Hunter so she could blackmail him into leaving Wise Georgie's room and moving out of Maxie's house. That way this whole conversation would never have happened and he would not be facing these fears and decisions. Maximista would be blissfully ignorant and The Jackal would not have to confess to his mentor that he'd revealed forbidden secrets. He could only hope that he wouldn't lose his role model and his job as well as the object of his desires.


End file.
